Sometimes it is important to remind yourself of the impetus behind your actions, to take a look at why you choose to participate, or not participate in certain behavior. This type of retrospective review often occurs after a particularly voracious night of drinking, or an unsatisfactory sexual experience, or attending church.
Max Unmex: Whiskey Sh*ts. I felt like tub girl this morning. Seriously, we have a problem. One and a half bottles of cheap whiskey. Done. I hope you are all feeling OK.
Chief: That got out of hand quickly.
Max Unmex: Oh yes. Invasion USA (aka Breakin' 5: Bazooka Boogaloo). It was bad. Very bad.
In this case, it's about drinking. It's about the ritual and systematic destruction of our livers that takes place on a weekly basis, or occasionally bi-weekly due to illness, girlfriends, work schedules, or other such cumbersome distractions.
Why do we choose to do this? Is it because whiskey is delicious? Yes. Is it because bad movies are hilarious to watch while drinking delicious whiskey? Yes. Is it because we love getting up the next morning feeling like we've been on the losing end of a physical confrontation with the entire Baltimore Raven's defensive line? Not so much.
But that's standard fair. And so is the now traditional reconstruction of the previous night's events over email the next day. Here is a typical exchange between Jeebus McBoobyPants, Maximilian UnMexican (Ph.D), Bobby Biglogs, and yours truly:
Chief: That got out of hand quickly.
Bobby: Same here. I broke some records this morning. I guess thats the big difference between good whiskey and bad- The Aftermath.
(pause)
Bobby: Did we watch a movie with Chuck Norris last night?Max Unmex: Oh yes. Invasion USA (aka Breakin' 5: Bazooka Boogaloo). It was bad. Very bad.
Jeebus: I am still hung over. got to work still reeking of booze....
Chief: I didn't even go into work.
Jeebus: You're unemployed, assh*le.
Chief: Noted
I thought this site was going to be dedicated to useful content. For example, the blog could answer some simple questions: What is a bad movie? Where do I find said kind of movie? Why whiskey? What qualities do you look for in a whiskey? Who is this tub girl character and how does she relate to whiskey "shots"? This, of course is merely a suggestion. Also, I detest the implication that we drink multiple bottles of cheap whiskey on a given night. As I recall (or don't recall) those bottles set me back a good set of twill elbow patches for my tattered, corduroy blazer.
ReplyDelete"Useful" is such a subjective term, like "sober" or "coherent".
ReplyDeleteThat first post was basically my attempt to get one up on the boards. I agree that this site should be dedicated to "useful" content, but also think that getting an idea of why we do this will be helpful to readers contextually.