Wasmund Update.

As a guy I can tell you the only thing we like better than doing it ourselves is doing it ourselves with alcohol. A DIY single malt whiskey kit is be a no-brainer. Add the fact that you just dump the spirits into the barrel and wait 3 months makes it a project that even I can do.

Its been nearly 3 months, since Maximilian teased us with this prospect of liquor! In house! For Free! The hardest part of this has been staring at the goddamn barrel for a quarter of a year.

It seems to have paid off. The first glasses we had could be summed up as fantastic but not exactly smooth. Ive been informed this is because of barrels tend to get better with age. With each round of whiskey, the Barrel should come into its own. That being said, the whiskey from our Prepubescent vessel is astoundingly tasty. If you try it just make sure you cut it with water.

The Black Svengali has arrived!

If you've been waiting for mild pieces of insanity portioned out in 160 character chapters, your wait is over.

Tracy Morgan has Joined Twitter.





"siting here watching vh1 hiphop honors. that Tracy Morgan is a funny mother fucker."

-Tracy Morgan Via Twitter

1 Hard Ticket, Swayze and 2 Bottles Deep

This post should be aptly named "Thursday Tornado". Last Thursday, we (over)indulged in a spree of reckless abandon as the gentleman of Elmwood St and I partook in some bad movie watching, Partick Swayze memorializing, whiskey drinking and poeticizing of the wax. As the previous post mentioned, we planned to watch the Swayze gem Roadhouse to honor our beloved, fallen hero. Needless to say the night unfolded as follows:

In anticipation of the evening's plans, the Chief and I ventured down to the local liquor store to purchase a bottle of bourbon. After a few minutes of deliberating, we picked up a bottle of the Wathen's Single Barrel Kentucky Bourbon. This bourbon hit our price point sweet spot of around $30 that we typically aim for when selecting a bourbon (although a few less expensive standouts will likely be covered in a later post). There were several different responses to the whiskey. I personally felt as though there wasn't anything special about the flavor to distinguish it from a more commercially accessible Jim Beam although the smoothness was above average. However, my esteemed colleagues assessed that the whiskey had a "smooth, incredibly sweet finish" and was "good for the price". I also believe the word "drinkable" was used at one point. So essentially, we had a decent "Bud Light" of bourbons on our hands. Less filling. Tastes great.

Of course our world was shattered when Jeebus McB barged in with ANOTHER bottle of bourbon, having just stopped at the liquor store on his way back from work. This time we were hit with a bottle of Henry McKenna Single Barrel bourbon. The two things we noticed about this bourbon were its proof (contained 50% booze-ahol vs. the average 40-45% you see in many bourbons) and its felt-feeling label. A comment was made that we could drink enough bottles of this stuff to make a card table. In terms of taste, all I can say is wow. This bourbon hit me like a truck... in a good way(?). It was smooth and to me had a hint of sour cherry or citrus. I would definitely say this one is worth trying out again.

As for the movies, I will likely leave that for another post (perhaps by another blog contributor) to round out the night for everyone. Needless to say, I learned that genetic modification can occur in reptiles if bitten by mutant rats that have been exposed to toxic waste. I also learned that Patrick Swayze likes to put baby in the corner... and then rip its throat out.

R.I.P Patrick Swayze

Today is a sad day indeed, my friends. At age 57, Patrick Swayze has kicked this mortal coil after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.

When I read about this last night at around 12:30am, I felt an actual pain in my heart, and not the kind that comes after a night of eating too many wings, and drinking too much Bulleit. I was genuinely hurt, truly saddened. This was confusing to me because I usually reserve emotions like this for people I know, and it was at this point I realized I had developed a much deeper attachment to Swayze than I had imagined.

But who wouldn't? Swayze represented everything a star should be, but most times isn't. He was one of the few stand up guys in Hollywood, a gentlemen and consummate professional on set, and a loving husband off set. His values were different from most leading men, rooted in the ethics of the Texas heartland he grew up in. He married his childhood sweetheart, and they stayed together for 34 years, until the very end.

However, even if you knew nothing about Swayze the man, you had to love Swayze's contributions to film and television. When I started cataloguing his performances, I became even more bummed out. Swayze has been part of so many seminal films that I can't help but feel that a little bit of entertainment in general passed away with him.

Let's review:

First off, Swayze was in M*A*S*H. That's right. Break out the old episodes and rewatch them. He makes a cameo during the 1981 season. I only mention this because it's an oft-forgotten part of his legacy.

But lets get into the real meat of his career, beginning with The Outsiders, perhaps the ultimate brat pack movie. There are so many young stars in this film that it should be considered the cornerstone of any game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Continuing in this strain, Swayze teamed up with other soon-to-be-stars to fight off a Russian invasion in Red Dawn, which became one of the most iconic action flicks of the 1980's.

How do you follow that up? You team up with Rob Lowe, strap on some skates, and make a hockey movie that is still revered by any kid who ever hit the ice in the 80's. Several months ago, Youngblood made an appearance at Bad Movie Night, and it was glorious.

Yes, Youngblood was big, but Dirty Dancing was bigger. It still is, to this day, one of the most watched movies in Hollywood history. Even if you're a guy you've watched it at least 5 times just trying to hook up with a girl back in high school because she always wanted to watch either Dirty Dancing, Grease, or 16 Candles. Goddamnit, I didn't even get a hand job out of that.

Moving on. Steal Dawn. Swayze goes post apocalyptic. 'Nuff said. This will be reviewed for Bad Movie Night at some point, because it's full of win.

The ass kicking continues in Roadhouse... I'm not sure I even have to justify how awesome this movie is. If you haven't watched it, punch yourself in the face. If you don't, Swayze with come back from the grave and do it himself.

Rivaling Dirty Dancing as Swayze's biggest commercial success is Ghost. Lets face it, who didn't see this movie and want to get a potter's wheel? That scene is iconic with a capital "i". Furthermore, after kicking massive amounts of ass in many of his previous films, Swayze plays a man who's love is so strong it outlasts death. If you didn't get teared up at the end of this movie, you don't a have a soul.

I'll end with my favorite, Point Break. Frankly, after this masterpiece I can't even mention anything Swayze has done. It's just not worth it. It pails in comparison (with perhaps the exception of his cameo in Donnie Darko). For me, Swayze will always be Bodhi, the Bodhi-zaffa, the seeker looking for the ultimate ride.

It's also worth mentioning that Swayze starred in 2 of the funniest SNL skits ever aired. His appearance on Hans and Franz caused Franz some sexual confusion ("How could you not be looking at his buttocks?!"), and who could forget his Chippendales audition with Chris Farley? Simply amazing.

Swayze has given us so many wonderful memories, and we here at badwhiskey.blogspot.com intend to salute his by watching Roadhouse on Thursday, and toasting the man himself.

I'd like to end with a quote by Betsy Sharkey from the LA Times, that hits the nail on the head:

"Years from now, most of us won't remember "The Beast," and visions of a young, handsome Swayze will more likely spin through our memory, when he was strong and invincible. The quiet warrior, who always accorded respect to his adversary.

And so it was in the end. Cancer may have taken him, but it did not defeat him."

Best In Show Bourbon

Looking for the best bang for your bourbon buck? Are you tired of spending $50 a bottle on classy single barrel whiskeys, only to be ultimately dissatisfied with how they perform on the pallet? Does going top shelf impact not only your wallet, but your ability to drink with reckless abandon? Do you suffer from not only a hangover, but buyer's remorse in the morning?

Or conversely, have you be dredging the bottom of the whiskey world, experiencing the shame and exhilaration that comes with purchasing a bottle of booze for under $20? Have you decided that lining your wallet is more important than retaining the lining of your stomach? Do feel that words like "self respect" and "dignity" don't really apply to you?

Allow me to present you with a solution. Bulleit Bourbon. If this was marketed by monkeys at InBev, they would say it has 'drinkability', but seeing as I hate that term I'll just say it's damn good. Bulleit retails at the $30 price point, which puts it in the same realm as Jack Daniels ($28), Maker's Mark ($29) and Knob Creek ($34). However, it has a cleaner finish than these competitors, has a sweet, not sour aftertaste, and has a crisp bite to it.

Having done extensive research into the mid-range bourbon's I'm willing to crown Bulleit the winner. There is a reason that it is our house bourbon at 10 Elmwood. I would like to give an honorable mention to Gentlemen Jack, which can be found on sale for about $30 on occasion, and in such instances outclasses even Bulleit.

Standard Fair

Sometimes it is important to remind yourself of the impetus behind your actions, to take a look at why you choose to participate, or not participate in certain behavior. This type of retrospective review often occurs after a particularly voracious night of drinking, or an unsatisfactory sexual experience, or attending church.

In this case, it's about drinking. It's about the ritual and systematic destruction of our livers that takes place on a weekly basis, or occasionally bi-weekly due to illness, girlfriends, work schedules, or other such cumbersome distractions.

Why do we choose to do this? Is it because whiskey is delicious? Yes. Is it because bad movies are hilarious to watch while drinking delicious whiskey? Yes. Is it because we love getting up the next morning feeling like we've been on the losing end of a physical confrontation with the entire Baltimore Raven's defensive line? Not so much.

But that's standard fair. And so is the now traditional reconstruction of the previous night's events over email the next day. Here is a typical exchange between Jeebus McBoobyPants, Maximilian UnMexican (Ph.D), Bobby Biglogs, and yours truly:

Max Unmex: Whiskey Sh*ts. I felt like tub girl this morning. Seriously, we have a problem. One and a half bottles of cheap whiskey. Done. I hope you are all feeling OK.
Chief: That got out of hand quickly.

Bobby: Same here. I broke some records this morning. I guess thats the big difference between good whiskey and bad- The Aftermath.

(pause)

Bobby: Did we watch a movie with Chuck Norris last night?
Max Unmex: Oh yes. Invasion USA (aka Breakin' 5: Bazooka Boogaloo). It was bad. Very bad.

Jeebus: I am still hung over. got to work still reeking of booze....

Chief: I didn't even go into work.

Jeebus: You're unemployed, assh*le.

Chief: Noted